


She's Hot... But Scary

by AwkwardAndUncomfortable



Series: Different Circumstances for Darcy Lewis [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adorable Bruce Banner, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Bad Decisions, Banter, Brother-Sister Relationships, Darcy Lewis-centric, F/M, Flanter, Fluff and Angst, Hacker Darcy Lewis, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I can't title, I will fight SHIELD, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, Not Incest, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, One Shot, Piercings, Protective Bruce Banner, SHIELD Agent Darcy Lewis, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-04-28 04:45:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5078314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardAndUncomfortable/pseuds/AwkwardAndUncomfortable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce didn't just leave behind General Ross when he left. After joining the Avengers and defeating Loki, Bruce faces the aftermath.</p><p>*****</p><p>I'm about five seconds from falling asleep and WHAM.<br/>Inspiration hits me.</p><p>If this is completely unintelligible then enjoy a few laughs on me. Be gentle, comment on what you think and enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even... Enjoy this version of Darcy.

Bruce sighed into his seat, wondering whether anybody would notice if he left the room.

The Avengers were currently in a classic SHIELD briefing room, the boring office chairs and grey walls a carbon copy of the next room as well as the six rooms after that. Tony was hacking into SHIELD servers again, frowning when he was unable to get past the firewalls. Natasha and Clint were playing footsie under the table, unnoticed by everybody else. Thor was eagerly demolishing a plate of poptarts and even Steve looked like he was about to fall asleep.

They were being debriefed on The Battle of New York, and the defeat of Loki. Bruce didn't think he'd ever been so bored in his life.

Nick Fury surveyed the group of Earth's saviors with a lip curled up in disdain. Maria Hill paid no heed, simply carrying on with the debrief. A few SHIELD agents were sat at the end of the table, furiously writing every single word uttered by Hill. Tony laughed lightly at their eagerness before turning towards Fury, his expression deceptively amused.

"Gotta hand it to ya Fury, you really improved your firewalls. It's taking even me a while to get through them." Maria sent him a glare at the interruption, but never the less stopped talking. Everybody sat up minutely.

Fury smiled evilly. "And you won't get through 'em Stark. I've got the best of the best."

"I though I had better taste than signing a contract with you." Tony pulled on a faux expression of puzzlement. "Must of been drunk."

Fury shook his head. "I've got someone better than you Stark."

Tony's eyes narrowed. "Oh yeah? Who's that?" Bruce found himself wondering who it could possible be. "Someone from MIT? Fresh outta school?"

"No actually. She's from Culver. Found her when she hacked into our servers as well as the FBI'S."

"Really? And what was she doing in your servers?" Tony asked, genuinely puzzled this time.

"Apparently she was looking for some poor fucker. When she was caught we pulled a Barton and brought her in."

Clint looked up. "Bet it paid off though." He said indignantly.

Fury smiled, baring all of his teeth. "Sure did. Never met somebody as talented as this one."

"I think I'd like to meet this woman." Tony said, leaning back into his chair and ditching the StarkPad. Fury made a small gesture with his finger at one of the agents at the end of the table, who promptly scrambled out of his seat and out the room.

"Desperate to help as always." Tony snarked.

"Won't last long." Steve said, drinking his coffee.

Tony pressed his hands to his chest. "How you shatter the image I have of you capsicle! Shouldn't you believe in the inherent good of everybody?"

Steve sent him a look. "I've fought Nazis Tony. Not every man has good in him."

"Ooh, Steve's being dark. I kinda prefer it to when he's all apple pie." Clint grinned.

"Eh, I don't know. You can't beat a good slice of apple pie." Natasha said, a twinkle in her eye. Steve slowly turned beet red whilst Tony and Clint hooted in laughter. Even Bruce chuckled.

"Dammit Woman! You're getting the golden child of America all hot and bothered!" Tony quickly took a picture on his StarkPad. "If you keep going I think you'll break him."

"I'm not that easily broken Tony." Steve said, still staring straight ahead and avoiding eye contact.

"I bet if anyone could it'd be Nat though." Tony said, staring at him in fascination.

"I don't think he'd mind being broken by Natasha though." Bruce said quietly. "I wouldn't." He added on with a small grin. Clint guffawed whilst Tony turned his gaze onto Bruce.

"Bruciekins, I'm learning new things about you every day."

Bruce simply shrugged and leaned back into his chair. Nat gazed at him with a similar gaze to a wolf on a deer. The way she licked her lips was purely predatory. Fury slammed his palm down on the table.

"If you've all stopped acting like children." He said, making eye contact with all of them. "She's here. Please behave."

The woman who stepped into the room was the complete opposite of what Tony was expecting. He expected a scrawny, unattractive teenager with awkward social skills and an awkward demeanor. What he got instead was a short woman, with full, lush curves and a red lipped smirk. She wore black skinny jeans with several rips and a large black t-shirt with some band printed on the front.

Tattoos lined her arms, neck and her legs where visible. It was odd artwork, and had an almost vintage feel to it. Mostly done in black, white and grey, there was the occasional splash of colour. Black hair hung low against her back in loose waves. She wore a black lace choker and Tony counted six piercings in each ear. Piercings also glittered at her eyebrow, nose and when she opened her mouth he saw one on her tongue. 

Tony was positive that he wasn't the only one with drool hanging from his lips. Bruce, however, looked like he was going to be sick.

"You wanted me for something?" She said, mouth turned up in a smirk. As if she knew something that they weren't privy to.

"Yes, Stark wanted to meet the person that he couldn't out-hack."

She turned on him with a raised eyebrow. "So you're the wanker who's been trying to get through my firewalls."

Tony sent back a flirty grin. "I'll get through eventually. Gotta say that you're talented though."

When she replied, her voice was seeped in sarcasm. "Really? Gee, the great Tony Stark thinks that I'm talented. Should I fucking faint now or after you've left?"

Tony laughed out loud. "You can faint now, promise I'll catch you."

"As if I'd want those old hands on me." She sneered.

Tony pulled on a face of shock. "Me? Old? Honey, if you want old just look over there." He pointed at Steve. Tony was actually shocked when she practically purred at Steve.

"Well I wouldn't mind those old hands on me." She said, licking her lips. Steve, in response, turned redder than he did before.

Clint burst into laughter whilst Nat kept her composure, although the corner of her mouth twitched. Darcy took the moment to scan the table. The agents avoided her gaze, Thor just smiled jovially at her. She smiled back easily. Nat and her exchanged a small nod and Clint beamed at her. Steve looked down at his hands and Tony sent her a flirty wink.

When she got to Bruce, she went pale and her eyes went wide. Then they narrowed in anger.

"How long have you been back?" She said, voice sharp enough to cut through skin. Bruce met her eyes while everybody else stared at them in confusion, not understanding the sudden change in tone or the question.

"About a week." He answered, ignoring the stares.

"Didn't have a phone wherever you were?" She said scathingly.

Bruce shrugged sadly. "You know what I had to do D. No contact."

Her glare turned venomous. "You didn't even fucking tell me you were going."

"I needed to disappear."

"Bullshit!" She shouted, slamming her palms flat against the table. "You could have fucking taken me with you! Or even have a left a note." A stray tear slid down her cheek. She furiously wiped it away before it got any further. "Just one fucking note Bruce. Would've taken you five minutes, tops."

He shook his head. "We both know you would've come after me if I did that."

"You're Goddamn right I would've." She snarled. Nat and Clint tensed, prepared to leap up at any second. "And I tried anyway! The closest I fucking got to you was through SHIELD and even then you moved around too quickly. I couldn't find a fucking trace anywhere."

He smiled weakly. "Guess I learnt from the best then."

Her snarl was pulled back a fraction. "You're fucking lucky you did. I wasn't the only one looking for you."

Bruce closed his eyes. "He still tracking me down?"

Her face almost turned proud. "Not anymore." Bruce eyes snapped open.

"What did you do D?" He asked, his stare intense.

She shrugged. "What needed to be done."

"Darcy." He said warningly. "You didn't."

She glared. "What else was I supposed to do? When he couldn't find you, he came after me." Bruce turned paler.

"That son of a bitch." Everyone looked at him in shock. It was the first time they'd ever heard kind, sweet Bruce curse before. His lips were turned downwards in a vicious glare that matched Darcy's. "That motherfucker." He growled. "What did he do?" His skin took a green tinge.

"Contacted me first, when I refused he ambushed me on my way home from work."

"Bastard."

Darcy smiled at him, all teeth. "I got him though."

Bruce's fists unclenched slightly and his skin returned to a healthy pink. "You go down for it?" He questioned.

"Five years for manslaughter. I was trying to find you using the prison computers by SHIELD." Her eyes twinkled in amusement. "Guess they found my skills appealing because they got my sentence dropped and hired me."

"And now?"

"Now I'm basically their go to hacker. What about you?" Everybody was having trouble keeping up with their rapid-fire conversation. 

"Traveled through India for about two years. Settled in Kolkata."

"Puttin' that fancy degree to use then."

He chuckled. "Told you I'd use it someday."

"Who pulled you outta Kolkata then? I'll bet ole' Fury sent in the best."

Bruce laughed again. "The very best, got The Black Widow herself." Fury and Nat felt awkward about being spoken about like they weren't in the room.

"Hardcore. Bet she's no match for Hulk though." Darcy sent Nat a quick wink.

"Who is?" They laughed together before Tony's curiosity wouldn't keep him silent anymore.

"How do you two know each other?" He burst out, slightly out of breath from holding it back for so long.

Darcy and Bruce shared a knowing glance before looking back at Tony. Darcy smirked.

"I'll say it slowly so you can keep up." She pointed at Bruce using large, exaggerated hand gestures. "He is my brother." She said slowly, wearing a large, fake smile and nodding. The siblings laughed at everybody's shocked expressions. Everybody's except Nat's, who's face remained unchanging.

"Anyway," Darcy turned to Bruce. "Sandwiches at Betsy's?"

He looked shocked. "That place is still there?"

She giggled. "Business has been fucking booming for them. Still got our old table reserved though."

"Thank fuck." He sighed. "I've been craving that sun dried tomato and mozzarella sandwich since I left." They slowly started walking out, oblivious to everybody else.

"Lunch is on you considering you've been a dick and haven't even complimented my new sleeve and tongue ring."

Bruce's reply was muffled by the slamming of the door. Everybody shared a pensive look.

"Fuck. That chick is hot." Tony sighed.

"Fuckin' scary though." Clint added on.

Everybody nodded in silent agreement.


	2. Chaper 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Which floor, Doctor Banner?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys wanted more, so here's chapter two! Not entirely sure where this fic is going, but let's go with it! Thanks for reading!

"Which floor, Doctor Banner?" JARVIS' voice asked as soon as the siblings stepped onto the private elevator at the Avengers tower. They had just finished having lunch and Darcy wanted to see where Bruce worked.

"Holy fuck!" Darcy said, looking up at the ceiling. "Is this the AI?"

"Yes miss. I am the AI." JARVIS replied.

"That is so fucking cool!" Bruce laughed at her, whilst she looked at each corner of the elevator at the cameras.

"Thankyou miss."

"What should I call you man, because we are going to become besties."

The AI's voice was strangely warm when it spoke. "My name is JARVIS, but Sir calls me J."

"J." Darcy smiled. "I like it. I am totally going to harass you about your coding because you are fucking awesome."

"Thankyou miss. What should I call you?"

Her grin widened. "Just return the favour J, call me D."

"As you wish D. What floor would you like?"

"I don't know. Bruce?" She turned to him.

"Floor fifty three please JARVIS."

"Of course Doctor Banner." The elevator swiftly moved upwards through the tower, with Darcy staring at the cameras all the while. Bruce wasn't sure, but it felt like the elevator was moving slower than usual.

When they finally arrived Darcy waved JARVIS goodbye. "Bye J, I'll talk to you later."

"Looking forward to it D."

*****

Bruce took her through to his lab. He shared the floor with Jane Foster, the astrophysicist and girlfriend of a God. She had her own lab, mainly filled with duct taped machinery and equations scrawled over every available surface. The floor and lab benches were covered in several layers of notes, essays and theories, all written out in the same hand.

He preferred to stay in his own neat lab. Where everything was neatly filed and ordered. The only person who ever went into his lab was his one lab assistant, George, who was scared witless of him. Bruce mostly just gave him errands so he would stay out of the way.

Darcy spun around, taking in all of the state of the art equipment that shined under the fluorescent lighting. 

"Fuck Bruce. This is beautiful. You must be on cloud nine to work here."

Bruce smiled, happy that she liked it. "I am. But there a lot more explosions then I'd like to admit."

"And how does my other brother like that?"

He sighed. "I still don't understand why you call him that."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Why do you think? He's a part of you, so I class him as family."

"He could hurt you."

"He wouldn't Bruce!"

"You don't know that!" Their voices were rapidly rising, and Darcy's face was scrunching up into a scowl. Bruce's was quickly following.

"Yes I do! He is you! Just a different part. You wouldn't hurt me, so he wouldn't either!" She started pacing up and down, clenching her hair in her hands. "I'm fucking exhausted Bruce. I'm tired of you running, and hiding because you're afraid of hurting me."

"I'm not fucking scared of hurting you! I'm scared of him hurting you!" He stopped her in her pacing and grabbed onto her shoulders. "You don't understand, he could kill you if he got out."

Darcy grabbed onto his hands, and pulled them in between them, linking fingers. "You have control Bruce. And if he gets out, he wouldn't hurt me." She released one of his hands and lightly grabbed his chin, pulling it up to meet his eyes. "You wouldn't hurt me Bruce."

She pulled his limp body into a hug. His shoulders shook as he cried into her shoulder.

"You wouldn't hurt me Bruce." She whispered into his hair. "You wouldn't." She carried on whispering it, over and over, like a mantra.

It felt like forever before Bruce raised his head with red-rimmed eyes.

"You okay now?" She asked, gently cradling his hands in hers. He nodded minutely. "You got a kitchen nearby?" 

"The avengers common room." He said quietly.

"Alright." Darcy grabbed his hands and dragged him to the elevator. The doors opened as soon as they got there. "Thanks J. Can we go to the Avengers common room please?"

"Of course D." The doors opened a few seconds later to a large room. There was a large wraparound sofa that faced a flat screened tv. Opposite that was a small kitchen, with an island. Darcy didn't doubt that it was the best on the market. 

"Cheers J." She thanked before dragging Bruce over to one of the stools at the kitchen island. "Stay there." She commanded before opening the freezer. Darcy quickly dug through it, pulling out a selection of items. Then moved to the fridge, and all of the cupboards.

She pulled out a board and a knife, and quickly began chopping strawberries in an almost professional manner. She then boiled milk on the stove, before adding cream and rapidly stirring. She then added vanilla essence and sugar. Bruce sat up, watching eagerly as she poured the mixture into a bowl. 

"This reminds me of childhood."

She grinned at him. "Yep. Whenever you were upset I'd make it for you." She poured some strawberries into a separate bowl and quickly mashed into a paste. She added it to the mixture before adding the sliced strawberries. All with a military precision. She slid a piece of clingfilm over the top before putting it in the freezer.

Immediately, she cleared the used dishes away and washed them. Bruce rose to his feet and dried them, before putting them away.

"Thanks." She said before ushering him back to his seat. "Sit down, I'm making brownies next."

Using the remaining ingredients, she quickly folded them into a mixture before pouring them into a greased pan. She slid them into the oven and quickly cleared away the dishes again.

The entire process only took about ten minutes.

"You've gotten better Darce." Bruce commented, resting his chin on his elbows.

"I had a job at a bakery for a while. I had to pump out cupcakes like a fucking machine."

"Bet you did it pretty well."

"Pretty well?" She asked lightly. "Bitch I was the best. No one can beat my red velvet cupcakes."

"I think I'd have to test that out."Bruce said, adopting a serious expression. "That's a very serious brag. I'd really have to see for myself." She lightly punched his arm, 

"Of course you'd want to taste them for yourself." She paused, eyeing his figure. "I'll make them for you though." She decided. "You've lost weight." Bruce glanced down at himself, realising that she was right. His clothes, hung on his frame and his face was drawn. "You need to fatten up."

"If that means you feeding me then I won't disagree." Darcy rolled her eyes before dragging him over to the sofa.

*****

Tony rode in the elevator up to his penthouse when a delicious smell filled the small space. 

"J, stop the elevator." The elevator stopped immediately. "What is that smell?"

"D is making brownies Sir." JARVIS replied, his voice sounding strangely warm. Tony's eyes narrowed.

"D? Who's D?"

"Darcy Sir. I believe that she is related to Doctor Banner." The AI sounded sheepish.

Tony smirked. "And you call her D?"

"Yes Sir."

"Ooh, JARVIS has a crush." He sang, smirking at the cameras.

When he spoke again, his voice was actually flustered. "I'm not sure what you mean Sir."

"I mean that you like her!"

"Well she does describe us as besties."

Tony laughed. "Oh J, you dog you."

The doors opened abruptly to the common room. 

"Fine J." Tony said, rolling his eyes. "If you wanted me to shut you could have just said so." He wandered out of the elevator and to the source of the incredible smell. A pile of steaming chocolate brownies rested on the island. Tony slowed down, glancing around to make sure that the coast was clear, before stealing closer towards them.

He stood over them, inhaling deeply before taking one. He bit into it with a moan. Tony felt his eyes rolling back into his head as he sighed with pleasure. This was a fucking good brownie. His eyes widened when he read the note next to the plate of heaven.

He was instantly by the freezer and digging out the bowl of ice cream. He quickly put it into the microwave and waited impatiently for thirty seconds. Once it beeped he yanked it out and dug a spoon into the creamy mixture. He slid into his mouth and sighed.

The sides of his lips tugged upwards when he held the brownie next to the ice cream. Tony smiled madly when he drizzled the ice cream over the brownie. He took a bite and nearly cried. 

"J this is fucking beautiful." He quickly poured half of the ice cream into a separate bowl and added some brownies. "Don't tell anyone it was me." He said before darting out of the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also wanted to thank you guys for all the comments, kudos and bookmarks! It means so much to me and I love reading your comments! Thank you so much! As always, be gentle and comment what you think! Thanks for reading 
> 
> ~Ruth


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Bruce came down to the labs the next morning, he nearly collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally updating it! My week of exams is finally finished, so I should be updating more often! Sorry for ignoring your comments for the past week, I've just been so caught up in schoolwork. I think I've answered them all now but sorry for the wait!
> 
> Without further ado, please enjoy!

When Bruce came down to the labs the next morning, he nearly collapsed. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened as he took in the state of Jane's lab.

It was clean.

Spotless.

The machinery that recently stood in every available and awkward space now stood in a neat line in the corner and all of the notes that previously occupied every surface now was all now in neat little piles and covered in sticky notes. The floors actually looked clean and the lab benches were scrubbed clean of all the strange and potentially radioactive substances, as well as the char marks from one particularly memorable fire. Jane herself looked cleaner then usual and was missing the usual style of a million pencils shoved haphazardly into her bun. She looked showered and full as she sat at one of the lab benches happily eating a bacon sandwich. It was the most protein he'd ever seen her consume. Even her clothes looked washed, if a little wrinkled.

What the hell was going on?

Did Loki suddenly decide to use his powers for good and come back to Earth to fix everything?

Everything was forced into perspective when a familiar woman came sauntering out of the elevator, a heavenly smell wafting from the plates in her hands.

"Morning brother." She drawled, floating past him to put the plates in front of Jane, who looked up with a smile. "Here you go Janey, now you better eat all of it or I swear to God, J will shut down this lab." Darcy ignored her scowl and pushed the plate towards her. "Eat." She instructed before whirling away to go sit at one of the only working laptops in the lab. She glanced down at the chaotic scrawl of Jane's handwriting before quickly typing it up. Bruce wandered over, still in a state of shock.

"You've been busy this morning." He looked down at her, before his eyebrows pulled together in a frown. "Is that my shirt?" She looked down at the purple t-shirt and raised a shoulder in a half-shrug.

"Yeah, it is. I didn't want to wear my clothes for a second day in a row and I wouldn't fit into any of Jane or Nat's stuff, so I borrowed yours. The purple made me laugh." Bruce still stared, completely unused to how easily she could fit herself into any situation. Darcy continued her explanation. "And you were still sleeping when I woke up so I came down to see if there was anybody who wanted breakfast and instead I found this chaos. So I cleaned, made sure that Jane was washed and fed and now I'm making her notes legible."

He stared at her, but she simply shrugged. "You definitely had your own gang in prison. There is no way that you didn't have your own gang." A giggle escaped her lips, and it echoed through the labs. It soon escalated to the gut-busting laughter that Bruce hadn't heard in years. All of the lab techs looked up to see what was making the sound before quickly dismissing them as unimportant.

"I did not have a gang!"

"You did. Don't even try to deny it."

"Stop talking shit Bruce."

"Why, are you going to shank me?"

"Hey! I could, if I wanted to. Prison taught me a lot of things, like how to make a shank out of a toothbrush."

"Did you use it for all your gang warfare?"

"Oi! I wasn't in gang warfare."

"Says the girl who can make a shank out of a toothbrush."

"Fuck off Banner."

A nearby lab tech looked up in shock and wore an expression of fear at her boldness in swearing at the Hulk. Darcy flipped him the bird.

"You really need some new, not-asshole, staff." She said loudly, before sending the tech another glare.

"Chill out D. It's no big deal." Bruce said, laying a hand on her arm and trying to cool the situation. Instead, Darcy flared up.

"No big deal? No big- come on Bruce! You can't have a fucking lab tech that's afraid of you!"

"Darcy," He said calmly, ignoring her raising voice. "It's not their fault that they're afraid of the Hulk. And I need lab techs. They do their job well enough."

She lowered her voice slightly, but anger still coloured her tone. "That's bullshit Bruce, and you know it. You should be able to work in a place where people aren't afraid of you!"

"People like that are hard to find." He said gently, urging her to calm down with his eyes. They both descended into silence for a few minutes, Bruce still gently holding her arm whilst Darcy scowled at the lab techs.

"I could do it." She said suddenly, eyes lighting up as she thought through the offer. She looked up at him.

"What?" He said, almost numb with shock.

"I could do it." She repeated, lips stretching into a grin. "I could be your lab tech. Come Bruce." She started, as soon as he looked unsure. "We both know that I know as much of this stuff as the lab geeks do, plus I actually like you and Jane! I could help with your experiments and type up all of your notes. I'd even keep you fed!"

"What about Shield? Don't you owe them?" He spoke slowly, trying to list all of the variables in his head.

She shrugged. "Well yeah, but it's all stuff that I could do on the laptop and just stream it to them. It wouldn't take me much time to do the Shield work everyday and then I could help you and Jane!" He shook his head, unsure. "Come on Bruce. We could spend more time together that way," She glanced away, a frown tugging at her lips. "I think we need that, after how long you were away for." She looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes with a pout.

"We both know that look doesn't work on me." He said automatically, still thinking about how it could work.

She grinned cheekily. "Never hurts to try."

He thought for a couple minutes, Darcy throwing in an extra reason for hiring her every couple seconds as well as a few pouty looks. Eventually, after much berating, pleading and begging, he sighed. "I guess it would be pretty fun if you worked here."

She squealed and threw herself into his arms, ignoring the glares and looks of fear and confusion.

"I swear you won't regret this Brucey!"

He sighed, and mentally prayed that he wouldn't.

*****

Tony was a lot of things, but he was never usually confused.

Right now, he was very confused. And above all else, he hated when he didn't understand things. So he set out to figure things out and find an explanation for all the weird happenings that had been taking place.

It had started a week ago, when he came down from a thirty-six hour science bender to find a fresh pair of pyjamas on his bed, next to a steaming bowl of soup. The soup came with a note instructing him to shower which he did without question, too exhausted to spend more than a couple minutes washing the grease and oil from his skin. He dried himself off with an already heated towel and stumbled back into the bedroom to demolish the soup. It was a classic tomato soup that came with home-made bread and was absolutely the best soup he had ever tasted.

He clambered into the pyjamas and fumbled around for the sheets. Blearily, he smelt them and realised that they had been changed. Pepper was in China for a conference and nobody but him came into the spare bedroom in his lab. So who did all this? 

That was all he could manage to think before sleep pulled him under, and when he woke up the next day, a fresh pile of clothes and steaming breakfast was waiting for him.

But it wasn't just in his spare room. Throughout the week, he'd find his clothes washed and food left out for him, the notes that he had hastily scrawled were now typed up and printed out, even the tools that he left haphazardly all over his workshop were neatly put into their proper places. His workshop actually looked clean and Jarvis refused to divulge any information, which was unusual even by itself.

It was completely maddening to Tony that he couldn't figure out who was doing all of this.

They were like a freakin' ninja, slipping in and out without being noticed and silently making his life easier. He liked the help, don't get him wrong, but boy did he hate how mysterious it all was.

He even resorted to going to down to Bruce and Jane's lab to see if they had been experiencing the same things. It turned out that they were. 

Jane's lab was ordered and actually resembled a functioning lab now. Her clothes were all clean and her notes were typed up too. There wasn't a single trace of a pencil in her hair and Jane looked like she had just finished a meal, indicated by the large clump of food plastered on her chin. Right now she was doing something with one of her duct-taped abominations so he didn't bother pointing it out to her. Tony turned to see that even Bruce had been affected by it all too.

He had also eaten recently, if the empty plate on the lab counter was anything to go by and only looked moderately rumpled compared to the dragged-through-hedge look he usually sported. He was even grinning and none of the lab techs were in sight.

"What is happening?!" He shouted, grabbing his hair before storming back into the elevator.

Bruce chuckled lightly, before knocking on the desk. Darcy crawled out from beneath and rose to her feet, brushing herself off.

"How long until he goes completely insane?" She asked, a smirk twisting her lips.

"Give it another week."

******

A week later, Tony had taken to hiding out in the vents, ready to spring out and catch the food fairy. (Which is what he had taken to naming the mysterious person that was slowly driving him insane) Clint had started getting annoyed with him by the third time they had bumped into each other.

The most recent time was the most memorable.

"Tony, what the fuck are you doing?" Clint groaned after their heads had smacked together. The vent was shrouded in complete darkness, but nobody sane went up here. That only left the person to be Tony.

"What the fuck are you doing Clint?" Tony repeated childishly, cradling his skull. "This is my vent."

"I swear to God Tony." He said warningly. "If you don't stop harassing me in the vents, I'll make sure that you won't be able to piss standing up."

"Ooh I'm so scared birdbrain. If you want to threaten somebody well you might as well threaten to sic Red on them." Clint practically growled. "She's much scarier."

"I'm going to fucking kill you Stark." He glowered.

"Fucking do it!" Tony shouted. Then they were on each other, clawing and biting in the bitchiest of bitch fights. An elbow landed in Tony's eye and a hand pulled at Clint's hair. Clint landed a sold kick to Tony's thigh, who responded with a vicious scratch to Clint's face. They let out a series of muffled groans and grunts as they scrapped, but were quickly cut off when the sound of metal scraping against metal filled the air.

They paused as the vent slowly got lighter as a small shaft of light shined through the end.

They looked at each other.

Clint gulped. "That wouldn't be the...?"

Tony shook his head vigorously. "It couldn't be."

"Are you sure? Because it sounds like it is."

Tony raised a shoulder in a half-shrug. "I lied. It probably is." He said, just as one end of the vent suddenly fell, sending the two avengers careening down the metal chute, clinging to each other and screaming the whole way.

They tumbled out of the vent and came to a hard stop as they hit the ground flying.

"Ow." Tony groaned, holding onto his elbow.

Clint lay on his back, gasping for breath.

"Are you okay?" A soft, feminine voice asked.

Clint sat bolt upright with increasing panic. "Uh, yeah. We're totally fine."

Tony stayed on the ground, still cradling his arm.

"Really?" The woman asked, a smirk pulling at her lips. "Because there was a lot of groaning happening up there. Did I interrupt something?"

Clint shook his head, eyes widening in horror. "No, we weren't doing... That." His voice came out strangled. "We were just-"

The woman smiled before nodding quickly. "It's okay. I'll just-" She gestured behind her before turning heel and quickly walking away.

Tony let out a pained laugh. "Jesus Hawkass. That was outright painful."

Clint hung his head. "I know. Me and Nat have been flirting with her for the past three months."

"I doubt you'll be flirting with her after that."

He glared at Tony. "We both know who's fault that is Stark." Tony sent him a smirk and jaunty salute before jumping to his feet and sprinting away. Clint hollered after him and gave a chase.

Suffice to say, Tony stopped using the vents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? I had so much fun writing about Tony, you don't even know. As per usual, anything you recognise doesn't belong to me and comment what you think! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Love you guys
> 
> ~Ruth


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha had grown up with some of the most dangerous people in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but the next one should be longer. Hope you enjoy!

Natasha had grown up with some of the most dangerous people in the world. Training, learning, growing. 

She didn't only learn hand to hand combat, how to use almost any weapon handed to her and how to use any means necessary to get what she wanted. 

She learned how to read the environment, register minute differences and how to use them to her advantage. Over the years, she had perfected the art, it was a second nature to her now.

And in the Avengers Tower, the air was changing.

The trio of scientists were all constantly fed and on enough sleep, although Tony did seem to be more intense than usual recently. If the incident in the vents was anything to go by, that is. 

Bruce was much more carefree too, attending more team building exercises now and actually going out, rather than hiding away on his floor. 

Jane was just... Jane. Manically experimenting with the universe until Thor distracted her for a few hours.

It wasn't difficult to deduce that Darcy was the cause of all of this. It had taken Natasha only five minutes and a brain to figure out what had been bothering Stark for days now. She was slowly working her way into the tower, befriending everybody along the way. Even Clint had something nice to say about her.

"She's driving Stark crazy whilst making Bruce happy." He shrugged when she had asked. "I like her."

She had briefly debated whether or not Darcy was a threat, but soon decided that she wasn't. Sure, she was hacking Shield, but she wouldn't find anything that Natasha hadn't already seen. Besides, her brother was the Hulk. She could probably keep a secret.

Well she better do.

So for now, Natasha decided to sit back and watch everything unfold.

What harm could Darcy possibly do?

*****

The woman in question was currently struggling with a very large box filled to the brim with old papers covered with Jane's indelicate scrawl. The box was almost the same size as her - rather generous - torso and it was difficult to even wrap her arms around it. It was even more difficult to try and push it through the stupid revolving door that acted as an entrance to Stark tower. 

"Fuck revolving doors." She grumbled to herself, panting heavily. "Fuck stupid Tony Stark and his obnoxious dick tower..." The box was now in the actual revolving door but was occupying the entire space and blocking the gap between the glass and the cylinder it stood in. Making it impossible to move.

"Fuck." She groaned, dragging out the 'k' sound and dropping her head onto the massive pile of files.

She yanked it back up to it's usual position when a voice spoke. "Excuse me, are you okay?" It was soft and feminine and definitely willing to help. Darcy awkwardly shifted the box onto her knee so that she could lift a hand and bat away the stray piece of paper stuck to her forehead.

"I could use a hand." She shrugged, going for conversational as she greedily took in every detail of the woman. She was petite and delicate, with long brown hair tied back into a fierce ponytail. Her skin was the colour of tea with a splash of milk and she had big, expressive emerald eyes. When she chuckled, it sounded like bells ringing.

"I'll lend you one." She smiled, leaning forward and grabbing the other side of the box and lifting it. Whoah, so she was really strong. Once they had wrestled the box out of the revolving doors and were moving towards the private elevators she shot Darcy another smile. "I'm Charlotte. Nice to meet you."

"Hey, I'm Darcy. What do you... ah, do?" She asked, vaguely gesturing at the lobby of Stark tower.

"I work as a receptionist most of the time."

"Most of the time?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Charlotte cocked her head. "Well I'm whatever anybody needs me to be. I get coffee, do paperwork, remind you of your daughter's recital. The list goes on. What about you? If it involves this," She lightly shook the box to demonstrate. "Then I feel sorry for you."

Darcy laughed. "I feel sorry for me too, I have to type up all of these for the scientists up on fiftieth. I'm pretty much a glorified baby sitter."

"Really?" Charlotte's eyes turned inquisitive. "How do you do it? I only got access to those floors a month ago and I've seen more explosions than in a Michel Bay movie."

"I actually enjoy it to be honest. You just have to listen very carefully. Someone shouts duck, you better duck." They manoeuvred the box into the elevator and Charlotte hit the button with her elbow. "It's fun because the scientists are literally like children. They will stick their fingers into a plug socket unless you tell them not to."

Charlotte shivered. "I don't think I could handle that level of responsibility, that just sounds terrifying!"

Darcy shrugged again. "Meh, you get used to it." 

"So, are you new here? I haven't seen you around."

"Yeah, I started about a week ago but I've mostly been staying up on the residential floors."

"Oh, I was wondering that. It's not everyday that you see anybody heavily tattooed. I would have remembered you."

Darcy lip curled up in a sardonic smirk. "I am pretty unforgettable." She glanced up as the doors slid open. "This is me. Cheers for the help." Charlotte awkwardly helped Darcy take the whole box before stepping back into the elevator.

"No problem." She furtively looked around before looking at her hands, then back at Darcy. "Hey, you want to go get drinks later?" When she didn't reply, Charlotte rambled on. "I mean, I know that when I first moved here I would have liked somebody to ask me. You can say no if you want." She quickly added on before falling silent.

"That would be great. Thanks Charlie." The doors slid shut before she could comment on the new nickname. 

Darcy happily skipped down the hallway, (as well as she could with the box) with a grin that lit up the room. A metaphorical lightbulb flickered on above her head as she skipped.

"Hey best friend?" She shouted up, not pausing in her skipping on her way to the labs.

"Yes, D?" Came Jarvis' warm voice.

"Could you let Clint and Natasha know that I want to talk to them?"

"Of course bestie."

"Thanks J!" She shrieked, still skipping. Oh, this was going to be so much fun!

*****

Natasha and Clint shared a look. "Just drinks?" The redhead asked, face remaining blank.

Darcy nodded, face equally blank. "I want to get out of the tower and you guys are free.

Clint sent a look to the camera in the ceiling. "I though Jarvis wasn't allowed to give out information about our whereabouts or plans?"

Darcy raised a shoulder. "Special privileges because we're best friends for life. You want to come or not?"

The assassins shared another unreadable look. "Sure." Clint said finally and Darcy grinned.

"You won't regret it!" She all but shouted before skipping away.

Natasha turned to face Clint. "If we do regret it, I'm blaming you." She said shortly before walking away.

"That's just great." He sarcastically drawled, trailing after her and truly hoping that they wouldn't regret it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a comment on what you think below and please be gentle. Thanks for the kudos, comments and bookmarks and don't forget to have a great day!
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> ~Ruth

**Author's Note:**

> My eyes are tired so I can't check to see if the grammar and spelling is all correct. But thanks for reading and comment on what you think! 
> 
> I'd like to thank everybody who has commented, kudos-ed, bookmarked and read my work, it means so much to me and it makes my day when I see your comments! I love you all and hope that you have a fantastic day! (Or night) :)


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